Why being a kind and helpful person can leave you feeling worn out and exhausted



It’s exhausting trying to be perfect and be all things to everyone. Especially living with that critical voice inside your head that’s always carrying on letting you know that you’re not good enough.

You’re a woman with standards. You like to have everything together, organised, beautiful, sparkly and clean all at the same time.

You’ve also got a big, giving heart and you love to help others.

You give, give and give some more.

You may not even realise it, because it’s so normal for you to give more consideration to what others want and need before checking in with what’s best for you.

As a result, you say yes to everything – it feels good to help. You go out of your way to do things for your children, your partner, your friends – in fact anyone – and always there is little time left for you. Not only is there no time – but you feel guilty to take time for yourself – you’re so aware of how everyone else is feeling, it’s natural for you to be all things to everyone else, and to make sure everyone else is happy and taken care of.

And that’s ok, provided you're not feeling resentful and exhausted and it’s not at the sacrifice of your dreams, happiness, health and well being. Provided you’re not left, empty, unhappy, exhausted and struggling as a result of all that you do.

It's likely you’re doing so much for everyone else,  that there’s no time left for your dreams, or that yoga or dance class you wish to attend, or to catch up with your best friend or even take time out for a bath.

Surely this isn’t all there is to it, right? There must be more to it than this, this constant struggle, running around, go, go, go.

It feels like something is missing.

And in a way it is. Not so much as missing, it’s more like a disconnection from yourself, your truth, your divine essence. 

Deep within you lies the wisps of unfulfilled dreams, and passions, burning desires that have been buried away under the day to day responsibility of life, and the demands placed on you. 

The truth is, nothing is really missing. All that you seek and desire, is there within you, but are you slowing down enough so that you can listen?

It’s all there desperately crying out for your attention, while you’re so busy focusing your attention on everything and everyone else.

Your higher self is crying out for your attention.

That struggle, the anxiety, the stress, the exhaustion, the insecurity, the fear, the worry the doubt, it’s all there trying to get your attention.

And as you continue to ignore the signs pushing the emotions under the surface, they get louder and louder, until something drastic happens that forces you to stop and listen and make a change.

That feeling of struggle is your higher loving self, simply just trying to get your attention, to let you know there’s something out of balance – a disconnect.

The feeling of struggle lets you know you’re in resistance and pushing against what’s true for you.

What’s true for you is that you are loved and you are lovable no matter what you do or don’t do. You will feel struggle when the way you see yourself is in opposition to this. When your thoughts, instead criticise, judge and bully you.
The struggle indicates that you’re separated from the loving essence of who you really are.

Whenever you think unkind and unloving thoughts about yourself, you are going against the truth of who you really are and you feel pain. The struggle you feel is the pain of you thinking and believing something about yourself that simply isn’t true and is not congruent with your highest truth. 

Truth feels good. Untruth does not and neither does struggle.

It takes a shift in your thoughts and perspective to begin to feel more ease and less struggle. Shifting your thoughts and perspective isn’t always easy.
It is not possible to paint on a fake smile and positive affirmation and pretend to be happy when you don’t FEEL happy. Glossing over it, feels like a lie to yourself.

So what can you do?

Allow yourself the ease of support.

Support that will allow you to bring awareness to the beliefs that lie hidden in your subconscious and outside of your awareness. It can be hard for us to see the unseen, until we develop the ability of deep self-awareness and create the safety to go deep within ourselves to transform the beliefs that keep us separated from our truth. 

I would not be where I am today, had I not engaged the support of different coaches and mentors to help shine the light on what I couldn’t see holding me back. And to help me transform the hidden beliefs that were keeping me trapped in patterns of negative thinking, self-criticism, self-doubt, insecurity and perfection. Engaging the support of coaches, therapists and mentors has catapulted my self-awareness, allowing me to let go of trauma, PTSD, fear, chronic stress and anxiety. 

To this day I will always continue to engage support so I can continue to grow to be the best that I can be. We can’t see all of our own stuff. It’s incredibly supportive to have someone hold the space for us to go deep and transform the limiting patterns and beliefs and reflect back to us what we can’t see.

It is my mission to guide and support people out of inner struggle.

Out of the inner battle within, that has you think you are not good enough. That has you put everyone else before yourself. That has you anxious and exhausted because you are under so much pressure. That has you feel like life is hard.

I’m here to show you that it doesn’t have to be this way. I’m here to guide you on your unique path to freedom.

Your life is valuable, you are so valuable. You are needed here. 

You can’t give what you don’t have. You can’t give from an empty cup – which is why you’re so exhausted.

You matter. Your needs and desires matter. 

You need and deserve time for you. Time for whatever it is that lights you up. Time for rest, and time for creativity and play. You give the greatest gift to others in your life when you are illuminated, alight with life, energy and joy.

It’s time now, as giving heart centered women to nurture yourself, to fill up your cup, so that you can give from the overflow. Gone are the days of self-sacrifice and struggle. It’s time now to let that go. It’s time to model to our younger generations what it means to love and respect ourselves, so that they will grow up respecting themselves from a deep genuine place of love too.

I support woman (and men too) through their own journey to freedom, if you are ready to allow yourself the support you need to move forward, you can find out more HERE.

Want to book a session with me via Skype?

You can do that here.