Seekers. Wanderers. Adventurers. Explorers.
We are all one and same.
Searching for the truth. Discovering the secrets to life. Looking for the secret to happiness.
Seeking to understand.
And in our search for fun, joy and bliss, many of us may choose different paths, yet we are all still doing the same thing.
Looking to our external world to provide to us that what we feel is missing.
New clothes. New job. A better relationship. A holiday. New shoes. New house. Another award or achievement. Another degree or qualification... and so it goes.
And when we finally get it one of two things usually happens:
- We find that happy high for a period of time before the same void feeling returns and with it a deep sense of dissatisfaction that in the achievement of the (insert...trim body, relationship, job, house, money) it did not provide what we thought it would long-term.
- We have it and now our sense of happiness depends on it. And as soon as we depend on something it has control over us. Our happiness is now dependent on this external thing and we now have to do everything we can within our force and willpower to make it stay the same. Mission impossible. We simply can't guarantee control over anything that is outside of our self.
So when our search and attainment of "things" leaves us feeling empty and unhappy, what can we do?
Look for the gift.
I honestly believe there is a gift for us in every single experience.
Learning what does not bring me lasting happiness, is guiding me to discover what does.
Had I not stumbled along the path of seeking achievement, attainment of things, possessions and disappointment with myself, I wouldn't have known the contrasting feeling to be unhappy.
Being in the chaos and in the muck is the path to conscious creation. As the explorer that I am, I now explore new ways, but I couldn't do this if I didn't figure out all the ways that don't work.
And this is the gift.
As they say, we can't know light without dark, therefore how can we truly know happiness without knowing unhappiness?
I wonder what would happen if we remembered that the happiness we seek, is who we already are.
It is our ego mind that wants to go searching to find it.
Seeking happiness then, is not a game for the seeker or explorer to look for, find and claim.
But instead remembering that in our inner most being we already are happiness. It is our pure nature when we allow ourself to reconnect and just be.
It's like freeing the kink in the hose and allowing our happiness to flow.
Instead of searching it requires stopping and slowing down.
Going within. Getting to know ones true self.
Here are 6 common ways we create blocks and kinks in our natural flow of happiness.
When we know what blocks our natural state of happiness we become empowered. We now then have the power to make new clear and conscious choices.
Attachment and Control
Reliance on external circumstances to be the source of the happiness we seek. It's a sense of needing or dependence on something or someone to be a particular way. This can be as simple as thinking we can't be happy without more money, until we lose weight, get that promotion or the perfect job. Or it could be demanding our partner or loved ones to be how we want them to be. Attachment and needing to control people and situations is the direct route to disharmony and unhappiness.
Avoiding feeling pain and discomfort. We must become the brave goddesses and warriors that we are and become willing to take an honest look at ourselves and become responsible for our life and happiness. This means learning and allowing ourself to feel and release our pain, hurt and wounds. It is essential to our happiness and well-being to learn how to safely let go of stored emotions that are trapped in our body which create dis-ease and disharmony. All it takes is a willingness to be present through pain and discomfort, for in the experience, the energy will shift.
Self-criticism is a form of abuse. Recognising the voice of the inner critic or the ego and learning how to work in harmony with it, is so important to our happiness. If we don't learn to free ourselves from the traps of our critical ego mind, the criticism will continue to self-destruct and limit our choices, actions and happiness in life.
- Over achieving
This can be a form of addiction to busyness or constant striving to achieve at the expense of our happiness, health and well-being. This can ultimately lead to exhaustion and burn out, where we are left running on an empty tank with nothing left to give. A good question to ask is what is the reason behind me striving towards this and what am I hoping to feel in the achievement of this?
This is be a big one. Sometimes when we are unaware, the decisions and choices we make in life are made out of fear. This may look like remaining in a situation that is not good for us, and not taking action towards our desires. When we feel disconnected from our true essence many of our choices are made in fear. This keeps us playing small in life and keeps us from connecting and pursuing our dreams and desires. The unhappiness and discomfort we feel from fear may feel like frustration, boredom or dissatisfaction and is often a sign that we are out of alignment and disconnected from our true essence.
A big happiness trap is when we remain laser focused on our current unwanted circumstances. Our perception, focus and attachment to our current circumstances keep us trapped in attracting more of the same. It's like choosing to put on a pair of glasses that only allows you to see and get more of what you do not want. Transformation is simply a change in perception, therefore you could imagine asking to see your situation in a new light as though putting on a different colored pair of glasses that only allows you to see and focus on appreciation for all that you have as well as focusing toward your vision, your goals and your desires.
Can you identity with any of these kinks blocking your happiness?