Why it is ok to feel afraid and doubt yourself

Feelings of fear and self-doubt can be debilitating and extremely overwhelming.

Often when we find ourselves frantically paddling in the deep end of these whirling emotions, we become trapped in the depths of it, going nowhere and not seeing a way out.

We become stuck there. Not moving. Ready to give in and give up.

Because we're deeply uncomfortable in this space. 
We don't like uncomfortable emotions.

Image Source: Unsplash

Image Source: Unsplash

So we try to push against them. Fight against them. Hide them away under the surface, ignore them and pretend that they don't exist.

But like pushing a ball under water, once you let go of the force and push to keep it under the surface it pops back up in full force and stronger than before.

This is how it feels to be living in resistance.

Resisting our feelings. Refusing to allow them. All of them.

Because many of us learnt at a young age to shut down. To disconnect from how we really feel.

Because often it wasn't safe to be honest and real. We were told we were too much or being silly or were wrong for what we felt. 

And with that we lost our natural innate ability to trust ourselves. 

So how do we get out of this trap of fear and self-doubt?

Well we first need to know this:

It's OK to feel fear.

It's OK to feel afraid.

It's OK to doubt yourself

It's OK to not know all the answers.

It's OK to feel uncertain & vulnerable when you can't see the whole path in front of you.

Because this is what it is to be a human! This is part of the fullness of what we are here to experience here in life on this earth. 

All of us feel these things. No one is immune to it.

To engage in any experience we must feel.

And feeling our way through experiences in life is the adventure, the wonder, the journey of experiencing life.

If you feel fear, it's the very thing you are being called to move directly into rather than away from.

On the other side of fear lies exhilaration and freedom.

If you feel afraid, explore the truth of what's really underneath it. 

On the other side you'll find an opening and trust.

If you doubt yourself, reach out and connect with people who can see you and hold that belief in you until you believe in yourself. Again & again. Because it's a dance in and out of belief and doubt. We need the loving support of others to lift us, guide us and reflect to us the divinity within us, that what we sometimes can't see. 

On the other side of doubt you'll find belief.

If you feel uncertain and vulnerable not knowing where you're going or how, then let go of control and welcome a sense of adventure. The unknown is exciting. We can't even comprehend the magic that may occur in our life when we simply let go of our hold on trying to control everything and instead we trust and allow life to flow through us. 

On the other side of uncertainty and vulnerability we find the space where magic will flow.

Allowing ourselves to feel all aspects of human emotion is to fully live and experience all of what life has to offer.

To know one extreme we must know the other.

We can't know trust without knowing fear.

We can't know belief without knowing doubt.

We can't know Joy with sadness.

We can't know light without dark.

We simply can not appreciate one without the other.

Therefore so called positive emotions can't exist without it's polar opposite. So we need to know how it feels to experience, fear, doubt, uncertainty, and the rest.

Feeling the full spectrum of human emotions makes us feel ALIVE!

Shutting down, numbing out, and engaging in addictive behaviour prevents one from feeling. It feels empty and dead inside. I still remember how this felt.

Not feeling makes us feel like we are Dying.

So not only is it OK to feel, acknowledge and express in healthy ways, the full range of what you feel, it is required so you can fully experience this wild ride called life and feel a sense of aliveness as you do so.

Because feeling ALIVE is real and lights you up from the inside out.